Sometimes, a lot of times, I overuse words. And I think the overused words of any given season are a sign of my mental state. Right now I have to work hard not to say, "billion", "tragic," and "spectacular". That's because I'm wired way high and everything feels big and out of proportion and BILLIONS of things are happening and some of them are SPECTACULAR and too many are also TRAGIC. But plenty of them are also mundane and dumb and truly no big deal. And maybe that's why it's been weeks since I was able to think about writing, or maybe it's because there's too much to write, or perhaps it's because the times-are-a-changin' and a new blog is brewing or new something is brewing or it's time to break up or whatever.
So here's a few of the random billion, spectacular and tragic things I know:
1. David Rakoff died this week. His writing and his voice impacted my life and made me laugh and think and want to grow as a writer. His passing is sad.
2. I've had 47 (billion) hilarious cultural encounters that remind me why I both adore Singapore and audibly groan so often. It's good. And tiring. Today, at 9:13am, I found myself in my bikini at the zoo shouting into my phone because the splash pad was 13 minutes late turning on. "Hello sir, I'm sorry to bother you, but the waterpark sign says it opens at 9:00, but it's not working." "What? You are working?" "No, sir, I'd like the splash pad to be working." "Who is working at the splash pad?" (17 more exchanges until my Singlish kicked in). "On the splash pad, can?" "Oh, sorry, ma'am! We'll send someone right over to on the splash pad."
3. Gus is fine. I go to work, and he's fine. Part of me would like to be a little more important and part of me is really relieved.
4. Our daily routines involve swimming pools, talking to the neighbor's cockatoo, chasing geckos, eating dried mango, and begging for more fried dumplings. Gus is friends with a dog named Cookie, devoted to a kindly uncle who manages the condo security office, smitten with his nanny, and entertained by about two dozen older kids in our condo. Singapore is grand when you are two.
5. I am fighting to keep my design brain churning. It's tough. My IQ has dropped pretty significantly since I last taught language arts, so I'm working right now to just make sure my students don't get any dumber. Once I master that, I'll think about art and writing and where I'm headed. For now, all I've produced is a Babushka fairy to grant me my every wish during this first week with a class full of kiddos:
6. I nearly alienated my family by being completely insane during my first two weeks of work. It was the first time I'd ever had a sniff of mother's guilt and woweeee! Powerful stuff! I drove Gus nuts with my list of (a billion) things to do when I came home every day. In a span of 90 minutes I'd have managed to drive us both to tears with alphabet time, number time, outdoor time, ball time, bike time, singing time, art time, etc. etc. etc. Yesterday I rushed home early to be with him and took note that as soon as he saw me he barricaded himself in his room and shouted through the closed door, "I'd just like a little time with my tractors!" Hm. When the two-year-old is able to articulate that you are smothering him, it's time to take stock.
So. I'm missing my quiet Prague life and loving the buzz of Singapore. We're settling into our life of contrasts and working towards a balance that is neither spectacular nor tragic but is just right where we're supposed to be. We'll give that time and we'll heed Gus's wisdom to just slow down and relax and retreat to the things we love.
