We've had a few artistic set backs lately, what with the ER visits and all. Should we choose to pick up our writing pens, there's much to record: nurses who broke their arms, attendants that were out of breath due to "too many Cuban cigars at lunch", doctors who ate ham sandwiches right-in-front-of-me (in the same room as the stirrups!), very comforting and detailed diagnoses like, "You have a disease. I am sorry, but that is all the English I know". The very good news is that with the help of some high school German, I learned that the "disease" is something else entirely that is none too serious. A few days of bed rest. A few gigantic antibiotic pills.
And it's on this bed rest that I read Donald Hall's Life Work and then naturally reread Jane Kenyon poems. What goodness. They echo another good book for me this winter--Tinkers. And, as my bookclub reminded me, if Tinkers is your style, then you really should read Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking. All these folks have words that slow me down in the best possible ways, and I am needing to be slowed down.
When I'm not reading, I am juggling humility and sorting out this weird year. We Greens like to be reliable and predictable. Boring treats us just fine. Schedules make our day. But the Prague Greens seem to be always sick and we're always missing work and we're always canceling and we're always having something odd happen--random bouts of vomit or hives or whatever, and we're always a little flighty, and we can't find a rhythm, and we don't finish what we start, and we're a little messy. I'm sure there's some good quote about surrendering to times like this, but I don't remember it. I have gone from lady-with-the-baby to lady-always-with-some-drama. And that's wayyyy too close to high school for this girl. Sure makes one appreciate being known only for diapers. And perhaps that's the point. Appreciate what is.
(A shout out of thanks to the amazing neighbors yet AGAIN for taking Gus for two days, making meals, and treating us like we are normal. Wow.)
I'm so sorry to hear that sickness is still rising its ugly head :(. What is this about? We are having similar years, but yours is much more intense, as my Patrick has remained well & I don't have a little one or a foreign language to manage (I'm not comparing, I'm just stating the facts ;) ). People have invited us to do stuff and I have 3 excuses each of 17 times. But they're all legit. But I know I still sound like the lady-always-with-some-drama, too - and she's precisely the lady I never wanted to be. UGH. I'm going to try to appreciate what is as well...that maybe for now I'm the lady-who-needs-to-stay-home-and-do-things-there.
ReplyDeleteWhen we aren't in control, we get to stretch and work those parts of ourselves that we otherwise wouldn't have. Parenthood overseas sounds like a heck of a workout. That's my sermon for the day. I am still worried about your innards. And send along some of your favorite quotes from those books -- I am curious.
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